Choked

Tongue runs cold
words freeze on its tip,
neither melting their way back to heart,
nor diving off the lip,
voice rises retreats like an impatient wave beneath the throat.

There is another world around the clavicle,
a volcano desperate to erupt,
throw up all the lava,
crushing the icebergs,
before diving of the lips,
dragging a scream along.

And the moment passes…

All the lava drowns in my veins,
burning the heart,
smoking the lungs.
My eyes go blank after the calamity inside,
and just then someone asks
“what happened?”
i say, “nothing, just choked..”

Tight-lipped

Thoughts strayed for an affair with words
Silence stayed back to cope with anything heard,

But the crush ended for the one-sided love,
Words weighed too much for the meek heart to glove,

Echoes of scream exploded beneath the flesh,
While the calm face blanketed all the mess

Tongue was left dry with the last of syllables already ripped,
And the world found my world tight-lipped...


Hallucinations

As i see the valley tripping from the summit 
i see the pages of life flying in air
flashing my coerced signatures
revealing to skies dreams i was told to copy
to get an A+ in the life's majors

As i see the valley tripping from the summit,
i see moments flashing when i had to submit,
when option to let go was on standby,
everythings turned so blind,
my darkness often probes the fireflies.

As i see the valley tripping from the summit,
fears hold back,
and anxieties lean into the free fall,
wanting me to get closer to the real me,
discover some depth in this shallow sea.

Underbelly of change

Should i break the mirror
Or turn off the lights,

Should i draw the curtains
Or turn on the lights,

Should i scream it out,
Or mumble the tension,

Should i listen a bit,
Or let the eyes fake attention,

Should i erase it hard
Or tear the page,

Should i fiddle the thumb
Or bite the nail in rage

Maybe i should just be….

Nerves

Biting nails,
ripping side skin,
waiting always equal to a sin.

Twitching toes,
drooping shoulders,
face sinking to new lows.

Fiddling pen caps,
pages drowned in overwritten scribble,
mind analysing probable mishaps,

Wandering eye balls,
hours passed since the last blink,
as if butterflies preparing for the eventual fall

Stuck

when i see someone driving their parents to a place

I feel…will i ever be able to navigate my steering that way,

when i see someone getting into relationships,

I feel… will i ever be able to a person that one can count on,

when i see someone taking tough decisions,

I feel… will i ever be able to take one,

when i see, someone taking responsibilities,

I feel….will I ever be able to shoulder the weight,

when i see someone standing up after losses,

I feel.. will i ever be able to take tragedies in stride

Sometimes,

I feel , i have the potential,

Other times,

It is like world is moving,

and am a rock sinking in ground a millimeter more,

with each passing day.

For many,

speed of progress is a concern,

But for me just moving is a nightmare at times