Looking back

They say.

i keep looking back.

No.

i don’t.

i left myself there

at a point in time

with those people

in those situations

Where

i never felt

the need

the temptation

the pressure

to skew myself

to suit

to be accepted

to be cared for

i don’t look back

i am just bored of the drama,

So i look at the real me

laughing, talking, breathing

in my thoughts

which they say

are memories …

Stuck

when i see someone driving their parents to a place

I feel…will i ever be able to navigate my steering that way,

when i see someone getting into relationships,

I feel… will i ever be able to a person that one can count on,

when i see someone taking tough decisions,

I feel… will i ever be able to take one,

when i see, someone taking responsibilities,

I feel….will I ever be able to shoulder the weight,

when i see someone standing up after losses,

I feel.. will i ever be able to take tragedies in stride

Sometimes,

I feel , i have the potential,

Other times,

It is like world is moving,

and am a rock sinking in ground a millimeter more,

with each passing day.

For many,

speed of progress is a concern,

But for me just moving is a nightmare at times