Crowd of thoughts

I woke up in the morning,
and mind was flooded,

wishes were taking sunbath,
plans were warming up in bed,

anxities were rushing,
pushing every affirmation on the way,

dreams lost their way in daylight,
or maybe went to chase the fears in dark,

guilt was hiding in a corner,
for ethics had issued a lookout notice,








Broken

held it together for long,
navigating through life with compass of right and wrong,

this time i let it go,
it fell apart,
i saw pieces scatter,
escaping from each other,
as if staying together never mattered,

i was empty and they breathed free,
being broken had its own beauty.

I have words to say..

I have words to say,
donno if they would stay true,
to all the thoughts and feelings that brew,
somewhere in mind somewhere in heart,
many things dwelling on the brink waiting for a start,

I have words to say,
donno if they would mean a thing,
donno if a tear would move or smile would spring,
from anyone who means something,
their answers elude me while i am mustering courage.


I have words to say
to no one and about nothing,
donno if the shout outs to the sky would help the release,
of an emotion which lost its way,
hope my silence will find home from the voice going stray.


I have words to say...

Waiting

i had to choose,
to wait in hope or to rush out of fear,
fear of missing out,
fear of ending up alone on the street,
fear of no one giving you a shout out,

but i chose to wait,
wait for things to cool down,
wait for people to turn around,
wait for life to happen the way i wanted it to,

just that no one told me,
once you choose this,
time invested buries the option to move on,
things only get personal,
so personal that no one cares,

and you do end up alone on the street..

Bored waters

Waters are never still
seldom raising a tide

tired of this blend of flesh and bone,
floating just above the surface,

on days i feel
like picking a handful of ripples
and setting them free in the sky raising if not a storm then a tide high

at least i will drown if not caught riding the waves.

Journey with truth

I was five
high on school but naive
everyone around preached
"always say the truth"
and i did..
i was pulled up
and warned to ask before saying
then i tried lying
was caught
a tight slap came from the left
i understood silence was best kept

Came in teens
managing home rules and hormones
i thought i knew what it means
truth was now the last resort
but i tried keeping it the first
i was roughed up for saying it
tagged dumb for not playing it
then i tried lying
it worked
i found ways at least sometimes if not always


Came adulthood
home, office, friends,neighbors were managing me
i had no time to figure out truth
suddenly peace became a bigger thing
and i gave up both truth and lie in the bargain
now i only say what others wanna listen
no one pulls me up
and i remain sane


Known strangers

Who are these people?
some knowing me since nappy days,
some since they developed a misconception that knowing me may be an advantage.

We don't meet, we just bump into each other,
at parties, we are obliged to attend,
and on some occasions, where we would prefer not to see each other.

They don't greet me, they check me out,
for something to feel better about themselves,
but at times end up being envious about.

They don't give good wishes,
they give advise,
which makes them feel somewhat superior for the time their voice is touring my ears.

They always have an accomplishment to share,
most of the times it is not theirs,
but of someone they know,
and that someone never turns out my acquaintance.

At times i think why do the converse?
to seek appreciation,
to seek attention,
to seek sort of superiority,
or
to hide their anxieties amd insecurities...





Looking back

They say.

i keep looking back.

No.

i don’t.

i left myself there

at a point in time

with those people

in those situations

Where

i never felt

the need

the temptation

the pressure

to skew myself

to suit

to be accepted

to be cared for

i don’t look back

i am just bored of the drama,

So i look at the real me

laughing, talking, breathing

in my thoughts

which they say

are memories …