Life in now – A drama

Calender read Oct 19, 2021.
Watch read 19.46.
But i was sipping cola from college canteen in 2009,
and worrying about the appraisal of March 2022.
All these while chipping the overgrown nail of index finger and waiting for 19.50 local train.

It felt as if the urge to escape from routine present made me a drama writer, who is simultaneously working on two stories. Both would not end in mind, but screenplay born out of overthinking would be potent enough to numb the present. Adding more air to the bubble of past and sucking every drop of hope that future could hold onto seems to be an art human has mastered while going through evolutionary process.

Or maybe mind wanted a high without consuming any substance. So mind began creating a cocktail of timelines.This episode made me ask a few questions to self.

Am i living my life?
or
Am just busy hijacking the moment with memories and imaginations?

Do we spend most of our times thinking about life, trying to predict outcomes, making ourselves believe that good is already gone and there is no chance it can recur ?
or
Do we subconsciously prevent ourselves from experiencing something new or unknown?

I am sure this has happened with many of you and many times. It is still happening without you even realising it.

The drama won't end easily. But being aware of the drama may always help.

Milti nahi

milti nahi….
khwabo ki woh kadi,
jo le chale hume,
us sire tak,
jaha,
sach hoti zindagi,
jhoothi naa lage,
khushi mere haathon ko achhuti naa lage,

milti nahi,
palon ki woh ladi,
jo haseen waqt ki,

dhadkano ko
saans deti rahe,

bheetar samaye andhero ko
asmaan se churakar,
zara si chaandi,
raat deti rahe…

Namesake journey

No way to go back
no way ahead,
am just playing the road,
the way journey is playing me,
memories encroaching the moment,
every leaving minute slaying me

with goal and glory leaving the dreams,
worlds the same with eyes closed,
the drama is dead in my poetry leaving it prosed,
mow the aethist in me does believe
life and happiness are often star crossed



Hallucinations

As i see the valley tripping from the summit 
i see the pages of life flying in air
flashing my coerced signatures
revealing to skies dreams i was told to copy
to get an A+ in the life's majors

As i see the valley tripping from the summit,
i see moments flashing when i had to submit,
when option to let go was on standby,
everythings turned so blind,
my darkness often probes the fireflies.

As i see the valley tripping from the summit,
fears hold back,
and anxieties lean into the free fall,
wanting me to get closer to the real me,
discover some depth in this shallow sea.

Badalta waqt badalte log

Jinse moodne ki umeed thi,

unhone palatke bhi naa dekha,

arse baad jab takraaye,

toh pata chala,

waqt ne unhe ek hunar sikhaya hai

jaankar anjaan banne ka….

Jinse roshni ki umeed thi,

wahi raat de gaye,

jiski subeh woh apne saath le gaye,

sau baar utthe hum us raat mein,

par khidki par sirf andhera dikhta tha

aur parda sarkaane ki himmat rahi naa thi,

Wahi zindagi…

Umr aur waqt se aage badhe,
par khayaal umeedon aur yaadon ke beech wahi the.

Auhde aur zimmedaari se aage badhe,
par faasla ghar aur naukri ke beech wahi tha.

Nakaamiyo aur hatasha se aage badhe,
par “yun hota toh kya hota” is haseen sapne aur haqeqat ke beech palkon ke jhapak wahi thi.

Kuch kadmo ke saath chalne aur kuch haatho ke chhotne se aage badhe,
par nayaab mehfilo aur bhoola denewale vaakyo ke beech log wahi the.