Khud se ek mulaqat

dil ki gehrai mein,
andheri khaai mein,
khudse ladaai mein,

lamhe khaas milenge,
raaz milenge,
zakhm naraaz milenge,

dhundh mein apni sirat se saamna hoga,
bachke nikalna asaan na hoga,
dhadkano ko halki pareshaani hogi,

is mulaqat ki hogi itni ki kahaani,
kuch gehri saansein aur aakhon se behta paani.






Ateet

Haan ateet apne vartamaaan mein itna sundar nahi hota,
uski sundarta beet te waqt ke saath badhti hai.

Ateet ek jagah hai mere liye,
jaha mein baar baar jata hun,
kyunki woh meri zindagi ki haqeeqat thi kisi waqt,
toh ekdum yathaarth bhi nahi hai.

Waha jaakar lagta hai
jaise kisine vartamaan ka bojh aur pareshaani niche rakh dene ka mauka diya ho,
thik usi tarah jis tarah school mein kisi period mein daant padi ho,
par recess ka maza phir bhi aa raha ho.

Sometimes

Sometimes we feel the hand that never leaned beyond waving to hold us. 

Sometimes we feel the lips that gave us hope of a kiss, but did not utter a word and turned away.

Sometimes we feel the heartbeats, even if their hearts were cold to us.

Sometimes we feel their murmurs breathing life into our memories, even if they are just shallow breaths.

And irony is we can't convey or express those feelings to anyone out there, we can just embrace them.

Life in now – A drama

Calender read Oct 19, 2021.
Watch read 19.46.
But i was sipping cola from college canteen in 2009,
and worrying about the appraisal of March 2022.
All these while chipping the overgrown nail of index finger and waiting for 19.50 local train.

It felt as if the urge to escape from routine present made me a drama writer, who is simultaneously working on two stories. Both would not end in mind, but screenplay born out of overthinking would be potent enough to numb the present. Adding more air to the bubble of past and sucking every drop of hope that future could hold onto seems to be an art human has mastered while going through evolutionary process.

Or maybe mind wanted a high without consuming any substance. So mind began creating a cocktail of timelines.This episode made me ask a few questions to self.

Am i living my life?
or
Am just busy hijacking the moment with memories and imaginations?

Do we spend most of our times thinking about life, trying to predict outcomes, making ourselves believe that good is already gone and there is no chance it can recur ?
or
Do we subconsciously prevent ourselves from experiencing something new or unknown?

I am sure this has happened with many of you and many times. It is still happening without you even realising it.

The drama won't end easily. But being aware of the drama may always help.

Milti nahi

milti nahi….
khwabo ki woh kadi,
jo le chale hume,
us sire tak,
jaha,
sach hoti zindagi,
jhoothi naa lage,
khushi mere haathon ko achhuti naa lage,

milti nahi,
palon ki woh ladi,
jo haseen waqt ki,

dhadkano ko
saans deti rahe,

bheetar samaye andhero ko
asmaan se churakar,
zara si chaandi,
raat deti rahe…

Namesake journey

No way to go back
no way ahead,
am just playing the road,
the way journey is playing me,
memories encroaching the moment,
every leaving minute slaying me

with goal and glory leaving the dreams,
worlds the same with eyes closed,
the drama is dead in my poetry leaving it prosed,
mow the aethist in me does believe
life and happiness are often star crossed



Hallucinations

As i see the valley tripping from the summit 
i see the pages of life flying in air
flashing my coerced signatures
revealing to skies dreams i was told to copy
to get an A+ in the life's majors

As i see the valley tripping from the summit,
i see moments flashing when i had to submit,
when option to let go was on standby,
everythings turned so blind,
my darkness often probes the fireflies.

As i see the valley tripping from the summit,
fears hold back,
and anxieties lean into the free fall,
wanting me to get closer to the real me,
discover some depth in this shallow sea.