Calender read Oct 19, 2021.
Watch read 19.46.
But i was sipping cola from college canteen in 2009,
and worrying about the appraisal of March 2022.
All these while chipping the overgrown nail of index finger and waiting for 19.50 local train.
It felt as if the urge to escape from routine present made me a drama writer, who is simultaneously working on two stories. Both would not end in mind, but screenplay born out of overthinking would be potent enough to numb the present. Adding more air to the bubble of past and sucking every drop of hope that future could hold onto seems to be an art human has mastered while going through evolutionary process.
Or maybe mind wanted a high without consuming any substance. So mind began creating a cocktail of timelines.This episode made me ask a few questions to self.
Am i living my life?
Am just busy hijacking the moment with memories and imaginations?
Do we spend most of our times thinking about life, trying to predict outcomes, making ourselves believe that good is already gone and there is no chance it can recur ?
Do we subconsciously prevent ourselves from experiencing something new or unknown?
I am sure this has happened with many of you and many times. It is still happening without you even realising it.
The drama won't end easily. But being aware of the drama may always help.
ripping side skin,
waiting always equal to a sin.
face sinking to new lows.
Fiddling pen caps,
pages drowned in overwritten scribble,
mind analysing probable mishaps,
Wandering eye balls,
hours passed since the last blink,
as if butterflies preparing for the eventual fall
a blink is an excuse for momentary escape,
i see temple where others see nape,
a stare is a chance to pierce,
i see nightmares partying where others see fears,
a laugh is a way to subside cries,
i see walls where others see skies,
a grin is a cost to hide indifference,
i see allegory where others see reference,
a twitch is a tremor induced to jerk the dull,
i see a web of knots where others see feathers unfurl…