kya mein jee raha hun,
ya yeh bas ek soch hai,
khayalon mein, khwabo mein,
mann hi mann bante mit te sawalon mein uljha hua,
jo kar raha hun aur jo ho raha hai hai,
uske fark ko nazarandaaz karta hua,
daraaron mein kabhi khaara paani toh kabhi umeed bharta hua,
kisi aur duniya mein saans le raha hun,
kya mein jee raha hun
ya yeh bas ek soch hai….
Ek zindagi ..
khud kai kahaaniyo mein kai kirdaar nibhaati hai,
kabhi kuch labz,
kabhi kuch panne,
toh kabhi kisi ke liye puri kitaab ban jaati hai
khwabo ki woh kadi,
jo le chale hume,
us sire tak,
sach hoti zindagi,
jhoothi naa lage,
khushi mere haathon ko achhuti naa lage,
palon ki woh ladi,
jo haseen waqt ki,
saans deti rahe,
bheetar samaye andhero ko
asmaan se churakar,
zara si chaandi,
raat deti rahe…
not a home but momentary,
a traveller, a life leveller,
changing bus, changing seats,
always with you,
but not the same,
coming and leaving often,
as you struggle to give a name.
you can listen to heartbeats at some point during the day
you can catch the breath that is running out faster than it is going in
you like to see the sun set after hours of escaping it’s heat,
you are amazed to see the dew settle on leaves through winter nights,
you slow down at times to absorb the scene around when running late,
you ain’t a fan of perfection and enjoy the act even with misplaced cues
you measure the success with people who have matched their steps to be with you
Kuch bin maange, kuch bewaqt mile,
jinse bach nikalna chaha,
wahi raaste mein pade mile.
Teekhe labzo ko odhkar,
hamesha mere sawalon ko bepata chhodkar woh aye,
par unki sachhai meri umeed ko itna raund gayi,
ki mann jhoothi tasalli chahne laga.
Khamoshi mein milkar ek goonj de gaye,
jisse aaj bhi meri khamoshiyaan pareshaan hoti hai,
zindagi shayad dhero unsuljhe sawaalo se kuch unchaahe jawaab peeroti hai
Growing does not always translate into increasing. Growing also means shedding, shredding, and burying. Growth ain’t the change from a point in time to another.
Time, people and your relationship with both keeps changing. Even though you haven’t made much effort. Prospering or being marginalised are a proof that growth can be vertical, but not always upward.
Growth of dust settling in room, because you don’t make effort to clean it. You can’t see dust enter through window, but once its settled in layers, you can see your laziness prospering . You can see cleanliness being marginalised.
Growth can’t be equal across. Though an ideal philosophy does advocate that. Here, the point of outgrowing comes into picture and changes the balance of equation. One who outgrows the circumstances, can prosper fast and for a longer time. One who doesn’t, swings between times of being marginalised and otherwise.