Calender read Oct 19, 2021.
Watch read 19.46.
But i was sipping cola from college canteen in 2009,
and worrying about the appraisal of March 2022.
All these while chipping the overgrown nail of index finger and waiting for 19.50 local train.
It felt as if the urge to escape from routine present made me a drama writer, who is simultaneously working on two stories. Both would not end in mind, but screenplay born out of overthinking would be potent enough to numb the present. Adding more air to the bubble of past and sucking every drop of hope that future could hold onto seems to be an art human has mastered while going through evolutionary process.
Or maybe mind wanted a high without consuming any substance. So mind began creating a cocktail of timelines.This episode made me ask a few questions to self.
Am i living my life?
Am just busy hijacking the moment with memories and imaginations?
Do we spend most of our times thinking about life, trying to predict outcomes, making ourselves believe that good is already gone and there is no chance it can recur ?
Do we subconsciously prevent ourselves from experiencing something new or unknown?
I am sure this has happened with many of you and many times. It is still happening without you even realising it.
The drama won't end easily. But being aware of the drama may always help.
Kya suraj dhalne par shaam hui
shaam hamesha se thi, bas suraj ki chakaachaundh ko humne apna din bana liya tha
I felt a bit of something everyday,
it went on for years,
all i have is outdated feelings,
people, situations and time have outgrown them.
A soul without body ain't a life,
and feelings without expression aren't emotions
Blood drips from the wound as if pain crying in relief
not a home but momentary,
a traveller, a life leveller,
changing bus, changing seats,
always with you,
but not the same,
coming and leaving often,
as you struggle to give a name.
Got out of bed on a wrong note,
slipped into left slipper with right toe,
maybe that’s how a day outgrows
Just be your own,
don’t lose yourself,
you are “YOU” ,
and not a trophy in their shelf.
Did thorns prick
to let the petals nerve,
all the red from my beats,
so i could trade emotions,
without bargaining my heart
Never answer folded hands
with folded arms.
Coffee ki bhaap mein suraj ko doobte dekhna,
ek ghooth aur woh thoda aur ast,
maano mooh jalanewali garam coffee ko thanda karne ke liye,
woh asmaan chhod raha ho…..